holidays are here . hmmm . this means its time to buck up man . so many subjects need to study le . now single , got more time le . although it feels something is lost , but i know i must carry on with life . haha . just came back from lan shop . been training enchantress for quite some time , lets say 2 weeks ? haha . i not bad liaoz hor . lalala .

午夜的收音机轻轻传来一首歌
那是你我都已熟悉的旋律
在你遗忘的时候
我依然还记得
明天你是否依然爱我
我早已经了解
追逐爱情的规则
虽然不能爱你
却又不知该如何
相信总会有一天
你一定会离去
但明天你是否依然爱我
所有的故事只能有一首主题歌
我知道你最后的选择
所有的爱情只能有一个结果
我深深知道那绝对不是我
既然曾经爱过
又何必真正拥有你
即使离别也不会有太多难过
午夜里的旋律
一直重复着那首歌
will you still love me tomorrow?

Here, pending down my thoughts that i NEVER wanted to do . For all i wish that this was just another nightmare that i always had . Meeting you in our Band NCO camp 32nd'07 camp, going to my 1st band concert at SCH . Got to see your brother for the first time , and you wearing one of your best outfit i ever seen . Was really touched that you came that night . Then i had to go overseas, planned a surprise gift for you even though im not in spore , and it went smoothly . Follow on was morning an night greetings daily .08Jan07, receive part of the lyrics from 'Never Be Replaced'. 1st month , you send me 'Wo Ke Yi' lyrics , felt a sense of great security . Remembering that there was a time before Valentine's Day. You said that you cannot be a irresponsible leader, cannot make the teachers think that they have chosen the wrong leader etc etc. I understood you. 'Without band , for me to become bm . I would not have the chance to know you .' Sounds familiar? Was actually sent by you . Most surprisingly thing occur to me is that i actually bought a valentine gift for my love one the first time . lol . Did it with alot of work though . 1 month of planning, 1 week of 'DIY' on it myself . Though it was kinda plain , but it was my first time .
Next day, introduced me a song named 'Super No.1 - Genie' . Quoted lyrics and sent to me . Touched again . I was a believer of fate . Until you came to tell me that i cant always rely on fate . I change my thinking since then .

Places that I will always remember , Serangoon , Hougang , Fajar , Lot 1 , KBox , Pool , Ang Mo Kio , Toa Payoh Bugis Village , Marina Square , Esplanade , Swensens , White Clarinet , The Catahay , PS Kopitiam , PS Yamaha Music School , PS Daiso , E-Dictionary Creative , Blossomz , NCO Camp , Oreo Cheesecake , and many. Things I will not forget , Oreo Cheesecake , Chinese E-Dictionary , Couple T-Shirt from NewBie , chosen long sleeve by you at Far East by NewBie , 3 Movies in the same week , KBOx introduced by you at Cineleisure, currently hooked , bai pattern of you at Pool time , hate arcade , swensens earthquake 1 month eat 2 times .

Ai De Zhun Xun Lu , at first i did not like it as it sounds wierd . But after much persuation from Jing Kai , love it till now . Wanted to K again , no more chance now .

Exams was nearing so there was much good luck sms and encouragement between us . My 12 point ? (got sweetheart to push u ma:)) nope not anymore now .

No more floods from you through any possible methods you can find . No more hugs, kisses, bites etc etc. There was a period of time when I was very sick , did not have voice to even speak to you on the phone . Was very worried as I could not make time for you .

A sentence I will never forget , (...unless he don wan me den i jiu find other lao gong lo...) hmmm , pondering to myself . And i asked you whether you will patch if I break with you , you told me that you will work on it but if its too long and you know its impossible and nothing can be done , you just wanted me to be happy and not a burden to me . I am not sure if that applies to me now .
_Promise me that you will not leave me de... Can? Bu yao li kai wo ... Ke yi ma?
_I don wan u to leave me neither do i wan to leave my dear , I wanna be wif you forever .

Then , quarrels started to occur between us . There was a time that i really didnt know what to do . I went to ask Hui Teng , Jing Kai , Mei Eng for advices , and even requested Hui Teng to help me look after you and tell me your status in school , requested Mei Eng to call and sms you to talk to you and getting advices from Jing Kai . I tried all methods to save out relationship , but to no avail , it didint went in the same way we planned for .

Chinese O levels was coming , tried to made some communication between us through sms . Was scared to call you as I did not want your disturb your study time and your parents nagging at you since it was exam time .


Just finish reading all the past messages that she send me . Forcing myself to delete the memories that we had together once before .

_Promise me that you will not leave me de... Can? Bu yao li kai wo ... Ke yi ma?

_...im willin to share ur happiness, unhappiness, angryness, sadness and sorrows wif u, im willin to lent u my ears and listen to u . i really love you . i love ur everything .

_...though it is like onli a few months but we hab been through alot le...

_Na me wen du, ni de wen du. Ru guo you tian chang di jiu, you duo yao yuan, rang wo kan jian. Yue shi xing fu yue hai pa, pa ta hui jie shu, yue yong bao, que yue shi gu du, mei ren liao jie de ji mo, wo zi ji zhao gu. Bu xiang rang fa xian wo, ni nuan de jiao bu, wo nu li gen shang ni de shu du. Ru guo neng yong you yi miao, you duo xing ku, wo yuan fu chu.

_...You jump i jump... You die i die... I pei you till the end...

_...N i wish to walk the journey of us together and forever:) you made me believe in love.And trust u.because of u i stand up and learnt how to love again. as long as our love are strong i trust n believe tat we can be together de.Let us jia you and work hard together lub u!...

_Baby i love you and i'll nev let u go :)


*Baby i love u and i'll nev let u go..and i promise u tat u will nev be replace...i love you, yes i do, i will be wif u as long as u wan me to..until the end of time..from the day i met you,i noe we will be together..and now i noe i wanna be wif u forever.. Muacksss!

_...hardest goodbye , we stil can always look forward to our favourite hello ...

_Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control..

_...lao gong de bao bao gib me shoo much warmt...

_Den i will find all the good doctors to help to cure you:) I will stay wif you forever to take care of you de..

1 last thing , that night after the concert , when i left you to walk to the MRT station alone , i boarded my parents car . And thought to myself that I made a terrible mistake to leave you and should fetch you to the MRT instead . And so i sms you whether you will be ok . You said that you understand and wont mind . That time I was caught in between because I remembered that you do not like to meet my parents . So I did not dare to ask you to join us at first . And I really thought that you would understand and wont mind , but at least now i know what your heart is feeling . I dont know what happen to you but , since you made this decision , I cant say anything more .

Your sms on 29/5/07 2209hrs
'Zhi Jian' type wrongly, you type 'Zhi Liao' de 'Zhi' .

You remember the time you first saw me,
Though your eyes had gone past long before then
As had mine, and they passed you right over
On the day that you knew I was there.
It took time, and it shocked me in coming
To discover I watched you with longing,
But I had to act carefree and happy
For I feared you would see that I cared.

You were there all the time in the shadows
Barely out of the reach of my fingers,
But when grief and unhappiness shook me,
I was quick to find respite in you.
There was suddenly joy--unexpected,
But as welcome as light from the heavens
In my life, and I held to you tightly--
You and pain were all realness I knew.

You picked up my heart from its prison,
You showed me a way of surviving.
I loved you with all of my being,
But I loved and I lived still with pain,
For the love that before had sustained me
Now was making me restless, and fearful
That you wouldn't forgive or believe me
If I said you shared none of the blame.

You will wait in the silence to hear me;
You will listen, but you will hear nothing--
I cannot say the words that will hurt you;
I cannot burn the bridge, walk away.
Now, as it grows late, I grow tired;
I will sleep, and keep thinking tomorrow,
And I pray that my silence will tell you
Everything I can't make myself say.
iLy forever.

传说中有一种汤，喝下之后会忘却一切。忘记一切忧愁，忘记一切憎恨，忘记一切的不愉快和记忆里想忘记的东西，当然那也包括忘记情，忘记爱……　

忘记了忧愁，也就没有了忧愁，可以舒展紧皱的眉，担忧的脸。平日里所有的不公平，所有的不快乐都随忘记而远去，人就会变的明朗了，好像被乌云掩盖的天，突然湛蓝了起来。　

忘记了憎恨，也就远离了憎恨。

当心灵不因为憎恨而蒙蔽，当所有的一切变成过眼云烟，人就会整个的轻松起来，宽恕了别人也解救了自己。

忘记了情忘记了爱，也就忘记了一切不愿意记忆的东西。当为爱一个人在苦苦挣扎的时候，当为了一段感情在无奈彷徨的时候，忽然的忘却该是多么大的一种幸福。　

没有人能做到那么的洒脱，没有人能真正的忘却！曾经爱过、伤过、痛过的日子永远磨灭不了，时间的推移增加了记忆里的痛苦。使得痛苦更清晰，使得心更憔悴，使得爱变恨，情变怨……　

学会忘却，也就学会了宽恕自己，解救自己。既然爱过不后悔，分离总有它的无奈。当人从幼稚无知,到自以为看透红尘,看透这个社会,那都是心路的历程。其实不然,书面上的道理说了太多,真正的懂得的太少。怨天尤人,自唉自怨,都是人的通性,人大多是自私的。

人生短短几十年，何苦撑的那么疲累，何不学会忘却？一味的追求完美，而这个世界，根本就没有完美的东西，完美了反而是一种缺陷，有缺陷的东西才真正的完美。人生更是如此，没有遗憾人生的人，并不快乐。所以追求的完美，其实就是追求一种完美的心态。

当人的生命走到尽头的时候，会去经历五谷轮回；当再世为人经过奈何桥的时候，会喝下一种叫孟婆汤的东西，会忘记前世的记忆，今生也就变的快乐起来。难道非要到那个时候才能真的忘却？幸福是什么，幸福在哪里，人一直都在苦苦寻觅着，寻找着，幸福其实就在那一回眸间，幸福其实就在那忘却里。　

有一种感情叫爱；有一种感情叫憎恨；有一种感情叫厌恶；亦有一种感情叫伤害。忘却掉一切的刻骨铭心的伤痛，忘却掉一切痛彻心扉感情，那将是最大的一种幸福……

爱过，痛过，拥有过，失去过，这便是生活...

Upon starting this thread,
i think twice before i type.

The future of us,
I dont dare to think.
The dreams we had,
I dont know the outcome.

But, what i am certain,

The love we shared,
I would not suspect.
The memories we had,
I believe its going to last.

The problem we had,
will never be solve...

I wish i could write this with my blood.
For i could feel the pain that lies beneath me.
Who would care for me,
I ponder to myself.
Thinking of the Holy Divine God that is waiting for me.

-end