was it betrayal? or was it a blessing in disguise. Now i finally understand what is the meaning of 'ignorance is a bliss', well, i was enlightend by my dearest. As lucky for that person, my dearest and i took it positively and we understood each other more, and made us love each other more. (You fcuking heng), if not .... next time i shall watch my words. You must undestand, it's not whether i was hurt, but it's whether my dearest was hurt. IF ANYTHING HAPPEN TO HER, i make sure that person rot in hell. Sooooo, shall i say FCUK YOU, OR THANK YOU? hmmm. thanks.

**Let this post be a past and we those who read it, please please please reformat your 'com' =)
**This post is just a silly post that i wanted to pour my anger out. BUT. I'm okays guys =)) It's the past.

OOOOH, it's been a long time since i've blog man. End of years exams are closing in, i'm left with 24 days, i think, and i should be studying right now. Now i don't even know whether i can stay on this 'league', i'm scared, seriously. I need a light to guide me through this shit, it's like taking o levels the first time where if you dont make it, its gg for you. Studies studies and more studies, that's all i can hold for now. Studies, Tuition, Band, Family, Friends. I don't know whether i can hold on anymore. Everytime i tell myself it's just 5 things, you have 2 hands, why not add another 5? But if i add another 5, I don't know what will become of me, would i be feeling the strong winds gliding across my face, competing speed against gravity, and to see who reaches the ground first? or perservering this phase of life in this age.

Anyway, just watch 4bia a few days ago, it sucks for first 3 parts but shiok for last part, the 'last frieght' i think, overall 3.5/5 ba. Yesterday went to Kbox-ing with b3 and b1 ppl to celebrate my san(3) sao birthday, and to mourn/celebrate my decision of some things that i actually don't want to interfere and let nature takes its course, but the time is wrong, and it left me with no choice but to take control of it before the hurt gets deeper.

*Girl, I'm sorry, but the time is wrong now. I really appreciate what you did for me for the last few weeks, the care, the love that you shower upon me. If you ask me whether the feeling is good when i talk to you face to face, i can tell you, it kills and i really hate to bring up the subject, fearing that it will break you fragile heart. But i know it's only a matter of time, that we have to face it no matter what. You told me that you will wait, but in my heart, i don't want you to be tied down because of me. I don't want to be a cage that prevent you to fly to the outside world. For the years to come, i really, really hope that if you ever fell for someone or to accept another person in your life, just forget me and persue your love. I will not bleed, but will in return, bless and help you if you ever needed me. I can't predict the future what will happen between the two of us that's why i dare not make any promises. The way ahead would not be easy from the point the clock strikes 12, and i know it will be a start of your nightmare that you hate but i really got no other better choice. If you were me, I really want to know what will you do? What will be the future of us if we start now?
And i know sorry here would not heal the wounds that i had cast on you, but i still have to say that ... I'm sorry.

Reach for your goals and never, never be distracted by anything from it.
You are a really really nice girl, and i don't want to lose a good friend like you. May god guide and bless us.