(i have been waiting for you to finish school in the same position since i reached batok.
and you tell me you're no longer there @ fucking 5 plus.
its not like i didn't sms you to lmk the moment you finish school.
and fuck it i waited at the bus stop downstairs your sanda place until 7.30
you said you rush there so that you can meet me earlier and i waited. i wanted to surprise you tday, i made you smth but it looks like i won't be giving you. i waited until i gave up. i cabbed back home, i was so tired. i stayed up till 4 in the morning doing your surprise. called you and you told me you just finished @ 8pm. you go there earlier to finish l8r. i don't blame you maybe your teacher kept you idk.
and now, in return it becomes my wrong, when i asked you on msn ystd if i could meet you at burger king you didnt confirm anything with me so how would i know. i went down to all the way down to batok in hope i could spend more time with you even if it was just traveling down to sanda tgt on the mrt.
forget it, since friends are your first priority, 'll give up. i don't want to be disappointed all the time. you just chewed the last straw.
i cannot go on with you.)
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Firstly, this post is not to blame anyone. It is to make things clear for both of us. Regarding on Monday, I admit it was my fault for not calling you right after school.
You said you did alot, just to surprise me on that day. I'm very touched by your actions, seriously. Because I know, I could not be a better giver than you. The day before Monday, you told me that you will be waiting at the BK opposite my sanda training, I could not remember what I replied exactly, but I think you could as you have all the records, but I took it that you will be there waiting. I didn't expect that you would do more than that, I'm really amazed by your actions. By waiting at the bus stop just near the sanda area till 730pm, I really felt like killing myself. To know that you are already sick, you're still doing this for me.
but have you ever thought what was on my mind? After school, I rushed to sanda just to reach there early to start early, to end early just to see you earlier. My mind was all the while thinking of you, wondering how you will be at the BK waiting. What are you doing? Will you be bored? Did you fell asleep while waiting? How was your sickness? Are you tired? I reached Outram, met Jon. Kelvin was late, Jon wanted to wait for him. I didn't have lunch, so Jon and I decided to eat bread and eggs for lunch at 5pm, text you, and quarreled with you while waiting for Kel. Kel came, training started. Logically, my mind would be thinking that you would be too pissed off to come down and go home instead. Yes, I told you I could end early. But since I knew you wouldn't come down already, there wasn't a purpose for me to end early right? I continued training normally, not knowing that you were waiting for me as I wasn't informed that you would be coming down. I know that you still wanted to surprise me, but looking at the situation, wouldn't you think that in order not to disappoint yourself furthur, you might as well tell me that you will be coming down, so i could end earlier knowing that you would come down?
Do you really think that I hate spending time with you? Do you really think that I do not care for your feelings at all? Do you really think that I do not love you at all?
If these questions are still in your circling in your mind, frankly speaking, I have failed as your boyfriend. You said that friends was my first priority, I can safely tell you that they are not. If you ever understand from my point of view, priority doesn't even come in the picture here. In any case, if my friends need me, I would be there still. No one likes to choose between their partners and friends, as far as I know. I'm sure you hate to make decisions on sensitive issues such as these I presume.
My love for you is true, my love for you is real, and I know it. I'm not a romantic person I had to admit. I'm not everyone's dream man, I had to admit. I'm not perfect, I had to admit. I may not express my love obviously, but I'm trying to in every chance I know I could.
I'm still willing to take the blame for everything,
I just wanted you to know how i felt about Monday.
I love you.